Can You Forgive Your Spouse?

A few years ago I arrived home and my husband said he needed to talk to me. Yes, there was a very somber feeling in the air so I knew it was something serious. He said God had been pressing him for a year to share something with me – and it was finally time. He shared with me that during our dating years he had been unfaithful. He said it was only when we had a fight – which was all the time! As he was talking, I remember I was preparing in my head my cross-examination because I was about to thrash him!

However, the Holy Spirit stopped me. I felt God tell me not to ask my husband anything. My husband was still speaking and the Lord reminded me of the demeaning way I would talk to my husband during those years. I spewed out any and all cutthroat, appalling, repulsive words to him. I was a ticking time bomb during those years. I was riddled with self-hatred and my husband, unfortunately, took the brunt of it. The Lord said for me to simply forgive him. When my husband was done speaking, I did just that – I forgave him. That was the end of it. We never discussed it again.

When my husband shared this news with me we were ten-years into our marriage. It was a marriage that was once dreadful, but had turned into bliss. Through our faithful trust in Jesus Christ, we had turned our marriage completely around. I never suspected my husband had been unfaithful during those years, and I would have never known. Why would God ask my husband to share that kind of news with me at that point in our marriage? I think there were a few reasons. For one; I believe the Lord wanted to reminded me of what sin is. Yes, my husband was unfaithful – but my mouth was torture. Ecclesiastes 5:6 ” Do not let your mouth lead you into sin…” Sin is sin. Sometimes we need to be reminded of our own sin because we often have a bad habit of looking at the sins of others. The second reason I believe God asked my husband to share this information was for us to realize we could trust God. My husband said he was very nervous and had no idea what my reaction would be. Would I get angry? Would I cry? Would I take our children and leave? None of that happened. There was no drama. He shared – I forgave – we moved on.

It’s been a few years since that discussion and our marriage has only grown stronger. We have a great marriage! We spend all of our time together. We talk to each other. We have devotion together.We pray with each other. We pray for each other. We have special intimacy. Our marriage is not great in itself; it’s great because we keep Jesus Christ at the center. My husband didn’t have to listen to God. I didn’t have to listen to God – but we chose to honor God. We trust God. Do you trust Him too? Can you forgive your spouse today?

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. “

 

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