When they hurt we hurt too.
We always knew there was something a little different about our son. From a very early age we noticed that no other little boys were drawn to Cayden. He was never invited to parties. When we would pick him up from childcare he was usually alone. When he was six-years-old, we noticed he would begin to have a meltdown if things didn’t go his way which made other boys uncomfortable. We would talk with him about it and help him through it. We’d see improvements, but the damage was usually done. These same boys simply wrote him off – and again – he was alone. We finally learned that our son has Aspergers. While there are some things we can help him with, there are other things that are simply apart of who he is.
About five-years ago we began to pray to God to bless Cayden with a friend. We specifically asked God to bless him with a friend who would enjoy being around him. We asked God to bless him with a friend who would simply love Cayden for who he is. During this time I would meet families with children the same age, and our children would get along with one another. So it gave us the impression that he had friends. (Yes, these were friends, but not what we were praying for, for Cayden) Deep down we knew our prayer for a friend for Cayden was yet to come. As he has gotten older we have continued to watch him stand alone at social gatherings and events. It’s hurtful at times. But one day something struck me. When Cayden is happy he is bouncing up and down and he swings his arms back and forth. At the same time he’s smiling and laughing to himself. I know someone watching his behavior would consider this odd. But my heart is joyful when I see him bouncing or swinging his arms because I know he’s happy. I am actually concerned if I don’t see him bouncing up and down. I finally realized I no longer cared how alone he was. I would rather him bounce up and down in his happiness – alone, instead of me feeling better just because he’s in a crowd of boys who aren’t his true friends. Cayden might be alone, but in these years I have taught him to study God’s Word. I have taught him to trust God. I have reminded Cayden that God made no mistakes when he created him.
Do you know we serve a mighty God? After many years of praying for a friend for our son, God did not disappoint. We teach a homeschool physical education class here in our city. We had several new students this year. One boy, “Alex”, joined our class and he and Cayden hit it off. They are in the same grade. They have many similarities. For the first time in my son’s life, he has a friend! Not an acquaintance. Not someone he plays with because me and the mother are friends. He has a friend who looks forward to seeing him. He has a friend who invited Cayden to his birthday party. He has a friend who wants to attend the same events as Cayden. He has a friend who he’s silly with. For the first time in Cayden’s life – it’s about him. God sent him a friend.
God cares about our children – His children. The world may close the door. The world may think we’re weird. The world may think they’re better than us – but God our creator – loves us. We prayed for a friend for Cayden, and God answered. It took a few years – but He answered. Never give up on your child. Never feel sorry for them. Love them not matter what – and never give up on God.
Isaiah 40:31 “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faith.”
Oh God how we love you. We know, Lord, that the children you have entrusted us with are your children first. Help us to be reminded that you make no mistakes. Lord, having a friend is a great thing, but Lord knowing you and knowing your Word is even better. While we wait for you to bless us with godly friendship, help us Lord to spend time with you. Grow us and develop us into the men and women you want us to be. We love you. In Jesus Name. Amen