A New Year – A New Marriage?

How We Foolishly Allow Sexual Sin To Destroy Us

Saleama A. Ruvalcaba

Years ago, before becoming a Christian, I had friends who prided themselves in the fact that they allowed their husbands to visit strip clubs. These women considered it a strength to their self-esteem by allowing their husbands to join other men and watch naked women dance around in front of them. Their position was that they were confident in themselves, therefore, could trust their husbands.

Oh how Satan just sits there and laughs at how stupid we are!

I certainly do not want to sound as if I am so high and mighty, because early in my marriage my husband went to several bachelor parties and I innocently thought nothing of it. Neither of us knew the danger of sin. As we have grown as believers, however, we can see sin for what it is. Unfortunately, many Christians believe they have the power to overcome sexual sin.

In Beth Moore’s book “When Godly People Do UnGodly Things” she says “What terrifies me the most is the growing stack of letters from believers who loved God and walked with Him faithfully for years, suddenly found themselves overtaken by a tidal wave of temptations and unholy assault. Many believers are convinced such things don’t happen. Not to good Christians.” It is oxymoronic for us to know and understand we need God in every way possible for our lives, yet we foolishly think as Christians we won’t be tempted by sexual sin – or we believe we can, in our own power, stand up to sin. In Dr. Tony Evans’ book No More Excuses he says, “It’s the immature Christian who believes he can handle temptation. It’s the carnal Christian who says, “that could never happen to me.”

The Word of God clearly tells us to be on alert:

1: Peter 5:8 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Who are we to decide the roaring lion here is referring to everything under the sun – except sexual temptation? We are too good of a Christian for that to happen, right? While we utter these words we’re like a gazelle sitting in an open field naïvely waiting for the cheetah to eat us alive. I know too many married Christians who are either divorced or dealing with infidelity because they gave in to the temptations. It is easier than we think to fall prey. God loves marriage. God honors marriage. Satan hates marriage and will try to destroy it. It only takes one first step, that you ignore, and boom, your marriage is in danger.

Genesis 3:6 “When the woman saw that the fruit on the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.”

One day I was sitting in the waiting area of my daughter’s gymnastics class. Each week a married man and his toddler son would be in the waiting area as well. The man’s wife was never there. He was usually talking with another woman who was there waiting for her daughter. This particular day, that woman was not there so he started to talk to me. He asked me who my daughter was. I pointed her out and said something about her hair just to give him an idea of who I was talking about. He replied, “Oh the girl with the long pretty hair like yours?” I did not respond to him at all. I didn’t say “Oh thanks.” Or even giggle. I said nothing else to him and he completely stopped talking to me. Was it awkward? No. When you recognize sexual temptation – you end it right there! You might argue I was overreacting. He was just complimenting my hair. Temptations begin simple and subtle and unless you’re aware of it right away, you’ll become Satan’s next victim.

Genesis 4:8 “Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field. While they  were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.”

Cain didn’t just wake up one day and kill his brother. This was a build up jealously and anger not dealt with. Sin sits at the door and unless we learn to master it, it will overtake us. Sexual sin does not just happen. It happens with little flirtatious behavior here and there. It happens when we laugh off inappropriate remarks. It happens when we have an innocent lunch with a married coworker. It happens when we converse via text or social-media with the opposite sex without our spouses’ knowledge. It happens when we are afraid we might hurt someone’s feelings.

I joined a new leadership program at church. At the end of the first class we were asked to pick a prayer partner for the duration of the program. Before I could look around the room to survey my options, a young man approached me to be his prayer partner. I respectfully declined his offer explaining I was married and that it would be best for him to choose a male and for me to choose a woman. He appreciated what I said. He even went on to say that he hopes he will be married to a wife one day who would do the same for him.

I sound as if I have it all together don’t I?

Can we truly overpower sexual sin to save our marriage?

One day my husband came home from work. He said he needed to talk. He said for several weeks two women at his job were heavily flirting with him…To be continued.

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7 thoughts on “A New Year – A New Marriage?

    1. Thank-you! I didn’t always notice it. It’s taken many years of studying God’s Word and understanding how Satan attacks us in many ways. I don’t claim to be an expert either but I do my best to listen to the Holy Spirit and obey. Thanks for reading and for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. A good post with several well made points! I struggle with this sin myself, although I have made great strides in overcoming the evil one’s temptations in the past year or so. I am certain that Satan uses this enticement a lot as it is very powerful…


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank-you for your very honest comment. As a body we need to hear from others in a honest way. Your strides will help someone else. Jesus Christ paid the way for us to overcome all sin. It doesn’t mean it’s easy! But He can help us each day live in victory and defeat the evil one! I pray over every blog post I write that it will help us all grow closer to God. Blessings to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. … Now these things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. So the one who thinks he is standing firm should be careful not to fall.” 1 Corinthians 10:8, 11-12

    Overconfidence warned about in the Bible. God may give us spiritual strength to resist temptation, but that doesn’t mean tempting fate ourselves. He also tells us to RUN.

    When I told my pastor I was writing a book for Christian singles, the first thing he said was, “You’re going to include a big juicy chapter on resisting sexual sin, right?” I recall sighing and thinking, “Yes, I probably should.” I hadn’t wanted to address it much, out of my contrarian impulse to NOT do what everyone else is doing. Of course, now, I’m like, What was I thinking? Of COURSE I need to talk about sexual sin. It’s everywhere. There’s good reason every book talks about it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I’m so happy you’ve decided to write about it. From my personal experience the Christians I’ve come into contact with seem to be oblivious to it. They seem to think it won’t happen to them. Yet at the same time I know too many Christians dealing with that exact issue. It’s sad. It’s an important topic. It should be addressed on a regular basis. Thanks for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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