Overcoming Sexual Temptation This New Year
Saleama A. Ruvalcaba
When my husband said he wanted to talk I knew it was serious. He said for a few weeks two women at his job were heavily flirting with him. He said it threw him off guard. He worked with these women for years. It was two separate women in different departments so it wasn’t as if they had a plan going on. It was literally two sexual attacks, by two separate women, at his job – at the same time.
Well, when you hear news like this it puts you in a vulnerable place. You realize how fragile your marriage can be. You realize that no matter how great of a Christian you hope to be, Satan is never asleep. We might fall asleep and think Satan isn’t near, but he is. At the time of this situation, my husband was growing tremendously with God. He had just been elected to the board of trustees at our church. He was studying relentlessly with God. People at his job were curious about his faith and consistently talked to him about God. In addition, he had young men he mentored who looked up to him. We had a very strong marriage. We were expecting our fifth child. He spent time teaching our other children the Word of God. Am I surprised Satan attacked him at that moment in his life? No.
James 4:6-7 “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
How did we respond to these sexual attacks? We started praying. We got on our knees and prayed to God. When situations like this occur in marriage the spouse under attack can either keep it to themselves, which will fuel the flame, or bring it out into the open. My husband shared this with me so we could stand before God. I did not question him. We prayed. Within one week the situation was diffused. He no longer spoke to either of these women besides a simple “good morning”, and they no longer approached him for any reason. It was over. And he continued to work at that company with no other issues.
We falsely assume we have no choice but to live in constant pressure to sin. Yes, we will be attacked, but we can resist those attacks through prayer – and by using common sense. I read an article by a former married youth pastor who had an affair with one of the teenagers under his authority. In addition to being married he also had small children. However, he started a relationship with a teenager simply through social media. He started to comment on her post, or “like” something she said. Then they began personal messaging and so forth. Finally he was in a full-fledged affair with a minor. Once this youth pastor was under attack he should have made it known to his wife or at least to someone who could pray with him. However, he chose otherwise and suffered greatly for it. My husband coached football at a Christian high-school. Under no circumstances could any school staff member have personal contact with students – especially via social media. In other words, common sense.
Proverbs 2:10-11 “For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.”
I hear so many women confused about why their husbands had an affair. They’re bewildered. They cook, clean, take care of the children, meet his every need – yet find themselves facing a marriage in crisis. I’ll ask them, “well how often do you pray for your husband?”
Yes – pray!
What we seem to forget so often is this; In the same way we as Christians get attacked, our spouses get attacked through sexual temptation. We can take offense to it and believe our spouse is above sexual temptations – or we can pray about it. You see, it really does not matter how beautiful I think I am. Or how much I cook, or clean, or care for my husband in every possible way. Seriously, I can be the Proverbs 31 woman, and that WILL NOT STOP SATAN FROM ATTACKING MY HUSBAND WITH SEXUAL TEMPTATION!
James 1:2-5 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God.
I pray for my husband every single day. I pray God will protect him from Satan’s attacks. I pray God will protect his eyes. I pray God will bless our marriage. I pray my husband will stay in love with me. I pray for a healthy balance of physical intimacy. I pray for his integrity. I pray he continues to grow as a man whom his children will honor and respect. I can go on, but you get the point. I don’t take Satan and his vicious schemes lightly. But I trust in the power of prayer and pray daily for my husband. We’ve been married almost 15 years. For the past 8 years we’ve had a very strong marriage. It’s because we keep Jesus at the center, and we intently and specifically pray for one another.
A good marriage is your choice. But it won’t just happen. Sexual sin is real. Satan will try to destroy your marriage if he isn’t already succeeding at it. Sexual temptations come in many forms, but it’s never too late to ask Jesus to help you. This is a very important topic and unfortunately this short blog post can barely touch the surface. I pray you will seek God’s guidance to protect you and your spouse from sexual temptation. And I pray you will stomp on Satan’s head and restore your marriage this year. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray God will bless your marriage today!